People watch the Super Bowl for the commercials, I watch the Tour for the HD sweeping vistas of rural France and its mountains and little villages that are like ten houses and a HUGE gothic church. My only problem with doping is it might make the stages go faster and give me less of my landscape porn.

I think you’re referring to pro sports in general, buddy.

Old white dudes: ALWAYS FUCKING AGGRIEVED.

As someone who doesnt care about cycling at all, that might actually get me to tune it for a moment.

Imagine waking up in the morning, putting on your best pair of lime green shorts, your favorite adidas shirt, and turning your adjustable hat backwards, before looking yourself in the mirror and feeling like that not only is this good, but getting so confident looking like that that you decide you’re going to go slap…

My therapist sometimes asks me about getting back out there and dating. I’m-a send her this.

“It’s not fair! Colonel Sanders was always manhandling breasts and slobbering over thighs, and no one made him sign confidential settlements with the chicks involved.”

Young and naive is a great thing to be.  Better than old, corrupt, and fucking dumb as shit like this idiot. 

Make up your goddamn mind, Hamilton.

Wasn’t it you that called Barack Obama shitty because he wasn’t out there doing more?

First of all, I dig the song (and that sample LOL).

We’re done here. Shut it down. Everyone try again tomorrow.

Every time Samwise bursts into tears, you take a shot.

It’s been a long time since I’ve read them but they key for me to enjoy them was to skip all of the elf songs and about 50% of the Frodo stuff from the second two books. Whining little bastard.

Had to be said

Anyone who doesn’t vote next time around can fuck right off.

Buddy, your kinja usage seems to be for defending Trump, calling out black people, and defending Barstool. You are the the stereotypical “stoolie”.

“Dave Thomas called homos “fairies” for years, and I’m the one getting in trouble here?! Where I grew up, if you had a queer kid on your block you would just tie them to the back of a pick up truck and have us a good ole fashioned fa-”

“headed for”