Is it bad that I've never heard of the Montreal Massacre, but know every detail of the Montreal Screwjob?

"Lightning can strike. You never know," Doraty said.

How can you have an article on trolls without recognizing the single greatest troll mankind has ever known?!

"Okay, motorboating might be out of the picture."

There was no basement at the stadium either. What a crock of shit.

Does this mean that Alec Baldwin is gonna go ham on Haynesworth's legs with a tire iron?

Well if he doesn't make it to the NFL, he has a good career ahead of him as that asshole in every shitty comedy movie who bobbles priceless heirlooms, almost dropping them, before placing them back onto a shelf which then promptly collapses and shatters everything.

Well then, I shall have several drinks at Maggie's in your honor.

Are you a native Albanian or did you just go to school there?

Easily the nicest clams any Pearl could hope to be inside of.

By the way, Dan Hurley has quite the comical Wikipedia entry. I highly recommend it.

Making a quick buck with Rick Pitino is what got Karen Sypher in all that trouble.

As security hauled the curiously-underweared hooligan...

...the huge audience Deadspin provides might be a better way to go than a dying newspaper.

Whether or not Dan Gilbert's e-mail had any impact

I don't even know how you can just pick up the paper and start reading it. They've been on the same damn adventure for 40 years, how can you recap that in one panel?

I hear Dan Lauria is willing to play the role on the cheap.

Forget it. You'll never erase Peanuts from the comics. People get up in arms about that shit. You can raise their taxes, cut pension/healthcare benefits and pollute their water but god help you if you touch Peanuts/Mark Trail/Family Circus/Prince Valiant. They will burn your newspaper to the ground!

At least he didn't spell "Yale" with a 6.

Ha!