How can you honor a man whose biopic co-starred fucking Robert Wuhl?

Too many Bacardi bowls is also what ultimately led to the cancellation of 'Taradise.'

Yeah, that's pretty goddamned awful all right.

My kid asked for a fucking dog this year. A live dog. I'd rather have my urethra split open with a boxcutter than buy a dog.

So if I drop the $20 million can I get Mr. Met to perform (in full costume) in my porno movie, tentatively titled "Meat the Mets"?

Well that was easy. I thought if you wanted to stop the Coyotes you had to paint a picture of a tunnel opening on a brick wall or something.

Ah, the ol' Denver Jockstrap.

I was in Philly quite a bit over the summer and I never saw any street fighting. About the only thing I saw that comes close is watching a crazed schizo homeless person almost get flattened by a SEPTA bus.

Oh come on, Vera just wanted some Wang.

Did we ever found out what the heck happened there? I hope she didn't have a stroke or something.

Sutcliffe certainly didn't help matters by going around and telling everyone that he was the "original fifth member" of MNF.

I think that's actually a hidden level from Centipede.

Sure, everyone loves the needle. But what about the damage done?

They better have a bean bag event.

Due to lack of things to do, Hank Williams Jr. now has SMTWTHFS blackouts.

Marshawn Lynch has Skittles in his locker; Kubel has epsom salts and ribbon candy.

I always knew there was this giant loophole that you could drive a Mack truck through."

"You can have the money and the hammer or you can walk out of here. You can't have both."

"You call that being inspired by a movie? Newton didn't even take a shot at anyone!"