"It’s A Pretty Obscure Lockout. You Probably Haven’t Heard Of It."

Please. Albert Haynesworth would gnaw through adamantium if it meant a shot at some ribs.

"One day after Chris Berman stops by the NovaCare Complex, Vick refers to Sunday's opponent as 'The New York Football Giants.' Coincidence?"

Shit if I had to play for the Marlins, I wouldn't want to use my real name either.

Look, Craig James is not a homosexual. He just has a wide brow.

AJ—

I thought that was the equipment keeping Al Davis alive.

Brett Favre's gotta be #2 on that list though.

They got love for WELKAH though:

Also this one which is pretty funny:

Dammit, wrong network.

Strahan had to send two tweets because his wife took the "on FOX" from the first one as part of her alimony payment.

Its also Rick Perry's stance on capital punishment.

That's good advice NFL.com!

"For the first time in the world, only women and children will watch a game. The women know all the chants. The same anthems, the same chants will be sung."

Remarked Torre, "I'm not gonna deny it, I walk around with chest hair hanging out of my shirt...I like girls that aren't too bright because you can trick 'em a little bit...high school girls love me. Fourteen to eighteen, I'm a big star with them. As soon as they mature, after they turn 18 years old, they start to…

The "Tom Berenger" factor is what made me want to become a substitute teacher.

You can tell he's an impostor because he wears a shirt out to da club.

Rob Ryan is also a big fan of the spread offense.