To be fair, there have been times when its felt like a Dean Winters-sized man was shooting out of my asshole into the toilet.

I think we're all ignoring the real story here: That a grown ass man is still referred to as "Skip."

I was more excited when I thought the last word in that lede was "diarrhea" instead of "decapitation."

Well I only created the account to mock him mercilessly, so I quickly lost interest after being blocked and deleted it. JOSEPLSGO was a brief but memorable star in the Twitter universe.

Try and beat my record of getting called a dickbag and then blocked all in 3 days!

He's gonna need to bet more than the usual amount to be able to make bail.

Relax. Captain Ron Rico knows exactly what he's doing.

HE'S GOING SUPER SAIYAN!!!!!!!

The real red flag on his resume was listing a job held with "Vandelay Industries."

Fucking. Truth.

Please. Freddie Mercury didn't get a dime from suing his butcher after getting some bad meat in the can. This guy doesn't deserve anything either.

Are there still "voters" who routinely mail back a completely blank ballot in an attempt to convey some sort of awful message about the process itself?

Chuck Berry is signing up for Twitter as we speak.

I did. Fuck. Well that's what I get for drinking scotch at 10:45am.

Why Jacke is not featured in more movies is totally beyond me.

Watching Jay Mariotti try and dig himself out of this one will be even better than the time Trent Lott had to go on BET.

Next best thing would be a meteor the size of Rhode Island smashing right into downtown.

Due to the events in LA this weekend, my piece of shit hometown newspaper was able to publish this story trying to draw comparisons between closing the busiest highway in the country and a temporary shutdown of a semi-busy road in Albany, which involves a detour that tacks on an extra mile to the trip. Oh the horror!…