See, just another reason why public transportation is evil.

This is what they get for hiring Ike Turner's marketing firm.

@Spirit Fingers: Just don't ask it to make you a cup of tea...

@ArtIsDead: Its funny how "poke it with a stick" can be the cause of — and solution to — most problems in society today.

@Arken: True. Its always the awful pretzel knots or trail mix or some shit.

@SarsDoesn'tSave: Yeah but those days where you get someone else's hanging snack food in addition to yours is the greatest day of your life.

@Arken: Machines are way smarter nowadays. If you try that scheme on a modern vending machine, a hammer comes out of the top and wangs you on the head.

@Always Winning: If his gold chain had measured longer than 16", he would've been banned from the league for life.

I fucking knew it. No one believed me when I pointed out all of the "RaHoWa" references in "The Mighty Ducks."

@Armen Tamzarian: Best part is the dickwad doctor from "ER" pelting him with a milkshake.

If this were the Oregon Trail, I would've let the Indian take the shot.

@Cyrus_the_virus: C'mon now. Why bother wearing underpants to Golden Corral in the first place?

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Don't worry. She'll have trouble coming up with the rest of the cash after buying that submarine with a screen door in it.

@ClueHeywood: I hear she has a revolutionary way of conducting urine tests.

@sweatingmullets: And just like Sammy Sosa, that man will speak no english.

Former Playboy model Izabella Lukomska Pyzalska buys Warta Poznan, a second-tier soccer team in Poland.

@OnTheTwelfthNightOfLloydChrist...: Damn man, its been a rough few weeks for you, forum-wise.

@FavreFAIL: Yahoo! comments are like the dumpster out behind Planned Parenthood on a 100 degree summer day in Atlanata.

Brothamouzone: "Goodbye, unbloodstained road." (This comment was "promoted" by a user named UweBollocks)

@The_Night_Man_Cometh: Also it should be pointed out that my Twitter account is named JOSEPLSGO