Travel vouchers for Foxboro police officers shows they attended a law enforcement conference called “Protecting the Golden Goose” in Tallahassee.

I’ll be the first to start the “This is how Belechick got the black eye” rumor.

Torn ligaments? I guess you might say his shoulder is in less than Burfict shape.

15. Vontaze Burfict

12. Mace Windu redirected the Force lightning back at him.

Roger Goodell’s aim was a little high and to the right.

According to how I play Call of Duty, they didn’t throw enough grenades.

Yeah, pretty easy to flop when all of the neural transmissions between your brain and various appendages are violently interrupted due to blunt force trauma.

When Hardy said he looked good in blue and white I just assumed he was talking about Nicole Holder

Detroit does not really support a pro football team.

And then this...

Eli’s just sad that Mara won’t tell him why he won’t be able to visit the big farm upstate where Coughlin will get to run around with all his friends.

Eli your owner and I, we love you very much. We love your throws. The way you do a quarterback. This is not your fault. When the Ownership’s new boyfriend Chad moves in, treat him like you would me. Chad is your new father now, Eli. You can visit me every other weekend.

Coughlin waking right by Mara was the cleanest pass the Giants have had all season.

Aww it’s not your fault Eli. It’s just that Coughlin and Mara don’t love each other anymore. But that doesn’t mean they both don’t still love you.

Interviewer: Now that you are retired, are you concerned about CTE?

They officials aren’t any worse. There are just more camera angles.

And then Drew ran back up stairs to bed before his parents caught him and grounded him for watching football on a work night. When he got to bed, he wrapped himself in his blanket and sobbed himself to sleep.

The righteous must defend society against the wicked by vigilant and spiritual warfare.

Live look at ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER: