Aw. Prayers up for you, buddy.

This isn’t a problem if you never look up from your phone.

Oh Jesus, they do? Everything that city does makes me want spray the entire place with insulation foam.

I got somethin’ to say

I’m very excited for the day when our generation is spending six figures on, like, a “third off the line” Honda Prelude SH at auction.

I can’t believe people are falling for this smoke and mirrors show.

NO ONE CARES!

How much water must one drink to heal a fracture?

God damn, the Olympics get me JACKED THE FUCK UP for sporting events I otherwise never give a shit about, and I swear if this guy rolls in and ATTACKS the ice skating arena in Pyeongchang with “Turn Down for What,” I am going to throw my table through my window a fit of ragejoy.

This whole process reminds me of the dot-com bubble of the late 90s/very early 00s, when it seemed like any doofus with two brain cells to bang together could wander out of a four-year institution of higher education and into a six-figure job. (I graduated from college in ‘04; just late enough to miss the bubble, and…

What fake news. Everyone knows that during the two years Luc played on Broadway, Trump was too busy to cheat on his wife with random women because he was cheating on her with his future wife that he’d cheat on with his next wife after that.

Tonight’s guest on “How to tell someone is not from New York”

Another major reason why millennials don’t want to live in Wisconsin, is the fact that it’s located in Wisconsin.

I photoshopped a Pokemon character into this photo, like Eli was playing Pokemon Go. I can’t find it, but it was pretty funny. You’ll have to trust me on that.

Come on, we all know there’s only one place to go for pizza in NY

Shenanigans. Roberta’s while very good, is nobody’s day-to-day pizza, especially if they live in Ft. Greene. It’s in the probably too east to be called East Williamsburg, and it’s non traditional. Again, it’s good as hell but it’s a pain in the ass to visit (outside of the Manhattan food court place by Grand Central),…

Chain pizza is filth.

The biggest reason to update your Samsung phone to the latest version of Android is probably for the emoji.