I wish it had an “in stock” mode. 

More often than not cops don’t stop crimes when they are happening. They show up 2 hours later and shoot your dog.

Jeepy McJeepface obviously. 

Obligatory:

My neighbor had one of these, and he went on to become a convicted pedophile. Not the cars fault, but I am not going to lie and say it didn’t add to my CP vote. Same color and everything. Sheesh.

Volkswagen Scirocco

Fuck these ghouls. Pro life my ass. 

Hey Giants fans:  I will buy you a new life, yes I will. 

4 Door Bronco?

I have good insurance through my work, but I have also spent time in other countries, so that’s gonna be a fuck private insurance for me, dog.

Paint my chicken coop!

This reads like a concocted boogeyman story from Fox News. 

:(

Mr. Wohl will likely make many friends in prison.