Generalissimo, I need friends but I always disappoint; it’s my superpower. I’m almost outta scotch and dry vermouth, and I’m sure they don’t put those in food bank emergency hampers.

It just occurred to me to try the dark side alone, in coffee.

If you get a boozy cream itch but have a tendency to forget the bottle after you scratch with some coffee, try a white chocolate cream liqueur instead.

Brilliant!

Sorry that button doesn’t work in Texas ;-)

I LOL’d.

Gotta justify those massive militarized police budgets somehow.

Under current Wisconsin law, despite the fact that minors cannot legally consent to sexual activity until they turn 18, minors acting as prostitutes can still face criminal prosecution. A proposal moving forward in the state Legislature could change that.

Just going to leave this here...

Always have an excuse they afford no one else.

So if you want to go looking for trouble antagonize people, and harm them, you should go to Wisconsin, not Virginia. Got it.

Imagine being such a miserable jabroni, you go around making up tough-guy names for your little sad boy clubs.

Please add Dr. to Betty Shabazz’s name. She earned that...just as Dr. King did.

Since we are reminiscing about ‘72, I hated how you couldn’t get any white onions back then because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

Look at all that sidewall. YOU LOVE TO SEE IT.

In ‘72, 63 cents could also get you a brand new Sears, Roebuck and Co. Automatic Oyster-Shucker with optional Crab-Shucker Adapter. I’ve had mine for years, and despite the fact that it runs on gasoline and thus stinks up the kitchen pretty good, it’s probably the best crab-disemboweling appliance I’ve ever used.

(at the time, Gyllenhaal was 10 years her senior).

There definitely seems to be a direct correlation between that Reagan decision and the rise in absolute nut-fuckery on the American right.

For this I will refer you to my comment on previous coverage:

In the very first sentence the article establishes that Marilyn Manson is in fact Brian Warner. Marilyn Manson is a fictional persona. Brian Warner allegedly committed these crimes. Therefore it is important to strip away the celebrity façade and reinforce the fact that it wasn’t an act.  It wasn’t part of a show. …