And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is good Kinja.

No, no, no. Banned?! Unacceptable. Maybe not as unacceptable as Dukes of Hazzard villian-turned-Senator Lindsay Graham’s shit-eating grin in the lede photo (maybe a couple pumps of that Purell bottle will rinse it out), but unacceptable nonetheless.

Let’s hold off on the blame game and impart some actual lessons to these kids:

Welp, my hat is thrown fully and forcefully into Gottmik’s ring. Gotta agree, sandwiching denotes being between breads, not just within bread; so until that separation occurs, foods like tacos, hoagies, subs, and hot dogs should remain their own diverse and glorious entities.

No, you can’t go back to Constantinople. Been a long time gone, Constantinople.

You know how frustrated you get when the teeth of your coat’s zipper get misaligned, with some janky-ass tooth locking in too early and where it doesn’t belong? Yeah. That’s bad merging. Be a good zipper.

Any word on the driver’s eardrums? Because, thunderclaps at ground zero are loud AF.

Should’ve been doing 88mph. We could’ve tested some, uh, theories.

Star. I became almost numb to stumbling across cemeteries during wooded hikes in western VA & NC, but the local legends and family intrigues tied to them are haunting in all the best ways.

If you ever find yourself asking “WWWWD?”, take the answer and turn it 180°.

I. AM. HERE. FOR. ALLLLLLLLL OF IT.

<driver's side window slides down>

Hm, like four little quantum tunnels. Slap on some “ANT MAN” personal plates and geek TF out.

To reflect my full agreement with this article and in honor of Gift of Gab (R.I.P.), let me paraphrase the sample at the very end of Blackalicious’s seminal track from A2G, “Alphabet Acrobatics”:

100. Pound for pound, Gift & DOOM carried more “Hey, I had that tape!”-nostalgia through their lyrics than any other rappers. Talk about winning hearts and minds...

Gutted. Just.... gutted.

Here for this. Everything about this vehicle led me to believe some Jeep marketer is still bragging about how-damn-close he was to landing the Jurassic Park product placement, while sounding comically like Glengarry Glen Ross’s Shelley.

I don’t get this. Knowingly and willfully flouting US tax law, while living lavishly in an extradition-friendly country and pursuing lucrative avenues to further capitalize on your lifestory...

I think you hit the right SAT-style comparison —