Quincy Jones made Rashida Jones. Shut it down. #hallpass

“I have long heard rumors that Hardee’s makes the best buttermilk biscuit in all of fast food, and I can now confirm that such rumors are plausible.”

I don’t get it. Is Dovere a serious journalist or just the world’s clumsiest spiller of lukewarm tea?

So sad. Thoughts & Prayers, you Thots & Players.

This frame from his ad just screams Don’t think about it too much, rubes:

Honestly, I figured any new tech interface for Hummer would be just a Panasonic Toughbook mounted to the dash with 3/4" lag bolts.

I don’t even flip them off anymore. I just raise my pinky, then droop it over for effect.

My. Was there ever a more appropriate marque badge for an electromod?

DUI-related incidents are unacceptable, period. Fight me.

So much truth. #8 hits different though, whenever I catch my mom doubling up on the Old Bay behind my back — knowing the high-BP struggle is really real. Like she’s somehow shaking melanin out of that box.

As I told The Root, should have been a sign that NY AG LETITIA JAMES is an anagram for IMAGINE STATE JAYL.

Nice how “NY AG LETITIA JAMES” is an anagram for IMAGINE STATE JAYL

Stars. Especially nauseating is the constant deployment of tactical whataboutisms— the fallback tool for these tools who get to treat others’ lives like thought exercises.

Oh, how I wish NewsRadio was Joe Rogan’s alpha & omega. The cast of that show breaks firmly into three distinct groups now:

Gotdamn. Do we deserve Sakinah Irizarry? Because we certainly need her. A+

<automated voice>

Great suggestions, but for us folks in the constant fight against HBP — but whose coleslaw will be pried from our cold dead hands! — more NaCl is problematic.

I very much want to leave the house in a t-shirt reading:

Dammit, I said “No”. You are making it very difficult to give you stars.

Sigh. So you’re saying I got so wrapped up in Donny Chinbags’ 2017 fuckshit that I missed out on that $100 coin release?