Damn, I never realized how lucky I’ve been fast-food chicken-wise. I’ve never lived anywhere more than 20 minutes from a Bojangles, Popeye’s, Zaxby’s, Harold’s, Raising Canes, or hell even a Churches way back in the day.

Any day that features Raekwon and Mo Cheeks references is a good day.

There is no luxury car that doesn’t look better in green.

Here we see someone casting literally the richest man on Earth (or second, whatever) as an altruist who “sacrificed his last cent, and virtually all his adult hours on earth.” They’re also suggesting that criticizing Tesla enthusiast culture is the same as targeting “racial groups, religious groups, people with…

I need to hear a Raekwon remix of this event. Call it “Incarcerated Dripfaces”:

I thought the pandemic gave my ENTJ a hard shove “I”-ward. But I’m beginning to see it more like a series of Extrovert Exorcisms, telling folks:

Bro, imma get my system dipped in like, stupid sick matte, yo. And stanced!

I come for the life hacks; I stay for the dirty anagrams.

South Dakota is the only state in the contiguous US that Amtrak won’t service, making it too racist for both the Underground and Overground Railroads.

Get out of my head, Lifehacker!!! After staring at my double wall-ovens’ grimy glass for far too long, I knocked out the interiors last weekend only to find two oily streaks between the glass panes. You just saved me some googling.

The Battle of Guacalcanal? (I suppose grenades are vaguely avocado-shaped.)

I’m not a fast-foodie by any stretch, but I’ve spent plenty of years around I-n-Os (L.A.) and Culver’ses (Chi). Also, it just so happens the kids demanded Culver’s last night. They went with burgers; I went cod platter. Here’s where Culver’s gets the win:

Seems to me Dip Dinner is not only the most enjoyable, unique, and filling dinner but also the most potentially-freak nasty:

... but deliver us from Florida, for thine is The (Magic) Kingdom, and The Broward, and The tramp-stamped Shawty, forever and ever, Amen. 

See, and my first thought was some horrifyingly-Floridian twist on the sovereign citizen/squatters’ rights argument involving some brother at the Moorish Temples because, well, The Root. Either way, too Florida.

Nah, you’re good. Unless.....

Oh yeah!! (he said, fully aware.)

<Clutches pearls> Why, I’d never! Hahaha

Romulus? Is that you?! We looked everywhere.

Hm. The Dukes of Hazzard Hapsburg?