Mark Motherbaugh’s pets aside (brilliant btw), these ride-or-die bitches (!) have enjoyed the ride and suddenly want out of the “-or-die” clause? Nah, fam. Get back in the bunker, Eva.

So, this phone number, I’m available on all night, and it would be an honor to talk to you. Thank you.

Agreed and fully understood. Not trying to qualify how legal it was, only — as you perfectly stated — how stupid/infuriating it was.

Guess Loeffler should have seen this coming. Surprised anything can sneak up on her with those violently-strabismic dead doll-eyes:

Here’s an exercise:

Oof. If she’s this upset about Black Categories in January, wait until she finds out about February!

This. Not only is he yankee, he is also brave.

Because 2020 is a sentient Möbius-shaped irony-snake swallowing its own tail, can we just skip the histrionics? Someone just cue up this animal’s donation receipts from the Republicans (K. Loeffler and/or M. Cawthorn would not be surprising), soundbite their subsequent whataboutisms, then drop this year into a vat of…

Ah, I knew I recognized that discount-Tom Jones/’Get Out’ garden-party guest’s company from somewhere. John Oliver, please take it from here...

Right?! That’s all I heard: “I ditched it. I’m a taxpayer. Come get me.” Dude’s a real paragon of self-sufficiency.

what3words agrees with you. ///

FINALLY, a thing named Tucker worth paying any attention to.

It’s Friday after 5. I’ve got whiskey. And you show up giving me props with Megan Mullally and Lester Bangs references?!

It’s no accident that hat matches her eyes. We all know that girl, whose value is wound too tightly around the axle of her eye-color and blondness. Vegas odds of her death by scalp-bleaching or compliment-starvation are even-money.

<furrows brow and adjusts hornrims>

What fresh hell is this? What an unadulterated, raw, uncut, fishscale level of socioeconomic humble-brag.

I cannot stress this enough: No. Do not — repeat, do not — conflate #bedlyfe and #worklyfe. Your puny little amygdala cannot handle the conflicting messages that sends. Plus, your bed is already pulling triple duty on sleep, sex, and wrestling with your kids and/or pets. By adding work, you will undoubtedly jack up…

Dear Affluent White Women—

Courts shall be convened! Pearls shall be clutched!

I would be more than happy to buy any Trump-voting Republican a new nozzle, capable of showering them sparkling clean with 2.5 gallons per minute...