“petulant whiteness” is the best phrase I’ve read in a good while

Dickchoke and the Ass-Cannons is my new fart-themed doo-wop group’s name.

That America is being taken down by a combination of celebrity worship and petulant whiteness is a pretty good argument in favor of a god who loves ironic punishments.

Is it just me or is she seriously channeling the Queen here?

Edit: It will count from 2007, so there may be a few that could be charged . So that means that Cosby’s victims won’t be able to bring cases against him for constitutional reasons it cannot be retroactive.

It is not retroactive, so it will only apply to crimes that are committed after January 2017. So unfortantly historic rapes will not be brought to account.

Thank you, California. There shouldn’t be a statute of limitation on someone who has killed a part of your soul.

So, he’s sexually assaulted several people in public, with many witnesses present. How is this asshole not in jail?

I really want to believe she is winning both her breakup with Brad and Brangelina divorce by thoroughly not giving a shit.

I really think one of the worst parts about it for her was knowing that everyone would think she gives a shit about their divorce (other than thinking, oh hey that’s too bad for those kids, hope it works out ok). I wanted to smack everyone I know who posted lame memes with stupid photos of Jen laughing.

YES. WHILE FILMING. “Say goodbye to the camera sweetie! Not to the squirrel! To your friends and relatives. Now let’s go take a bath...” Yes, let’s take a bath because, you know, bubonic plague, etc, I want to get this uploaded, okay?

This is bizarre. I feel like Seinfeld: who... are... these people? Who the fuck lets their child play with a dead wild animal? Bury the poor thing, don’t let your weirdly-naked kid maul it. Jesus.

And the second thing is her texting her friends, “Okay, who won the pool?”

I’m part Irish. You got nothin’ on us.

And that he’s considering adopting a bunch of kids from an impoverished country in the hopes of getting Angelina back.

Is Brad pregnant? Sources say yes and he’s doing it to fill the void from his divorce. Revealing baby bump bikini pics on page 12.

When religion is brought into something it ruins everything. Personally I think that land should be left to no one. Let it be a landmark where you can visit but not live I think that would solve the problem.

Seriously though, I wanted this to happen just so she could take the opportunity to remind all the tabloids and gossip rags to openly mourn and clutch the pearls over Brad’s single status as was done to her for so many years.

Santa’s Little Helper is a killer!

Snorting adderall gives one the coke sniffles. So I’ve been told.