I will share the saviours of my anus:

They should have also stuck a TENS machine or one of those electric abdominal belt things to shock their pelvic muscles into cramping or something. Periods are so much more than uncomfortable dampness.

This thread makes me miss the glory days of Livejournal’s Too Much Info community, which was mostly a whole bunch of period havers swapping stories about poop, periods and cooter boogers.

Heard through the door:

I love how she reads the horrid comments like Celebrities Read Mean Tweets About Themselves section from SNL, and I’m really glad she seems to have picked up that the best thing to do is just roll with it!

Unfortunately, MRAs use shitlord as the name for anyone who they class as a SJW, so much as I would have loved the phrase had it not been tainted, I worry that MRAs will think I’m one of their lot if I utter it. :(

... and with it being the Daily Heil, you can guarantee that the choice of wording was deliberate, they have dog whistles down to a fine art.

“See Grandma? I told you I would make something that you could eat!”

They’ve started selling it here (the UK), I can confirm that it is delicious.

Well that’s disappointing, my first thought was that it would be cock.

Finally, something I’d rather be sent a dick pic than!

I looked at Tinder and realised all the single guys within a ten mile radius of me are the same person. They’re all shaven headed, in Hawain shirts and play in dad rock bands. It’s depressing.

The guy probably cries himself to sleep knowing that the only woman his penis will ever have been inside of is his mother.

I always thought she had a total pram-face thing going on.

First thought on seeing those. Second thought made me guffaw as I realised what her legs will look like when she takes those dog’s abortion of a pair of boots off at the end of the day. In my mind, they’ll look like those salamis in a net you find in posh delis.

You have offially won today. Please report to reception to pick up your certificate of achievement, trophy, and novelty bottle opener.

Yivo’s hairy tentacle bollock maybe? I have to give props to whoever came up with the thing, I mean who comes up with something so horrendously squicky?

I would definately eat all my vegetables (including cauliflower, and that tastes so much like fart that is even looks like a cartoon fart) and become a model citizen (HA!) if hairy touchy tentacle was threatened.

Reminds me of this: