It’s shack-up season, time to find a mate!
That is the reason even ugly guys look great.
It’s getting cold outside and you want to stay warm,
and shackin’ up with strangers sure beats jackin’ off to porn.

Holidays are coming: put your standards on the shelf!
Christmas with a loser sure beats Christmas by yourself.
On those…

How do you flip pancakes with tongs?

I was once on a client site after a night of heavy drinking and was desperately searching for a bathroom because I was about to throw up. I found a door and jiggled the handle only to find it was locked. “Please God, just open the door” I said. And lo, it opened, and the occupant vacated, allowing me to rush in and…

Jason Segel, because I didn’t really like him in the first place and then he was in movies featuring The Muppets and Rush, which I love, and then made it into the replacement tour video for “Roll The Bones” and THERE IS NO ESCAPING HIM.

I applaud your use of the word “santorum” and am forever grateful that it stuck as a word.

It is really distressing that she continues to associate herself with 6ix9ine.

I’m in it for the sad puppets.

Clay or Leo would have made much better bachelors if they had to choose from the “Bachelorette” contestants.

This looks so good!  It is impressive how accurately those iconic scenes were captured in the trailer.  Gah!  Now I’ve got to subscribe to HBO again.

The music business is a shitshow. I’ve collaborated on songwriting with people who demanded 50-75% of the writer’s share even if they didn’t contribute anything because they had the “star power” or “cachet” or whatever without which the songs wouldn’t ever be heard. I’ve also worked with plenty of solo acts…

I’m with Spiegelhalter on this one. Moderate drinking, while it may up the mortality rate by a small amount, is not a death sentence, and it does bring people joy. All of the links you provided had to do with excessive, blackout-inducing drinking, which is obviously bad and not what the study covers.

Hillary Swank and I apparently share a dislike of fondant on wedding cakes.  Who knew?  And count me in as someone who is totally jealous of her friendship with Olivia Benson.

And if you want to add another bizarre layer, you can literally smell like those “memoirs.”  

Just recently I sliced my hand open on a bottle of sunscreen by turning it upside-down and slamming down on it to close the cap. The edges, it turned out, were really sharp.

Another time I was at Bed Bath & Beyond and decided to try and unscrew the blade of a Waring Pro blender, not thinking that the blade was, you…

Oh man, I had that single on a 45 that I played on my tan Fisher Price record player.  It is such a good song.

Hopefully nothing bad comes out about Clay. :(

I wanted to watch the whole trailer but the “1 2 3" whispering was so annoying that I had to quit.

My choir teacher in high school was the cult leader type. Valued conformity and fealty above all else, viciously shamed anyone who disagreed with him, was emotionally abusive, used groupthink to ostracize independent thinkers, etc. He was really, really good at evoking emotional highs in people, which he called…

Considering that 6000 people per year get killed just walking around, I think I might just park my butt at an oyster bar for 365 days straight to lower my risk of death.

This is why it is a moral imperative that healthcare not be a profit center.  See also: education, housing, prison.