I doubt this was your intention, but you have inadvertently talked me off the black-hair-ledge. I used to have black hair for years and loved it, but when I wanted to go back to my natural color (virgin, hee hee foreals!) it was grow it out or shave it off. Last night I was tempted to go snag a box of Clairol…

Oh gawd, ham wallet splashback is something I’ve never even considered. You have added to my fears, but also given the world a great new band name.

That sounds delicious. I, too, would love to drink pickle brine until I turned my blood to acid. Your grandfather and I have similar tastes, it seems

Hey all, I’m feeling yucky right now and need some internet strangers to verbally smack some sense into me. I’m generally a very self-confident person who is body-positive and loving of my curvy, somewhat generous figure. Tonight, I just can’t. I’ve been steadily gaining sneak weight for years (a pound here, a pound…

I’m impressed that you looked. Staring into the portapotty hole is like coming face-to-face with one’s inevitable death and decay. I imagine the falling-Jimmy-Stewart in Vertigo (but with, y’know, poop.)

That is fully acceptable.

Maybe my Scandinavian is showing, but throw on some pickled herring and maybe a sliced hard boiled egg and that’s a goddamn flavor party.

Jezebel needs to start some kind of crafting sub-blog so we can bitch about this stuff on the reg, not just because it’s incidental to taylor swift’s crappy sweater. this shit is cathartic

until they see how awesome your designs are, and then practical-strangers are asking for something that took $200 of yarn and 60 hours to make like its nbd. obviously i am sensitive about knitting...

Very much with you. the finishing stuff is my least favorite, but it’s also what makes a garment really look legit. let us gather around her and educate her on the vital importance of finishing techniques

100% correct. no neckline should ever look like that. like, i get that final laziness when you’re finishing a project and you’re just like kill me i want to be done with this and on to the next, but i can’t imagine ever creating that neckline and being like “yup, let’s give this to my idol”

THANK YOU. Intarsia is a pain in the ass, but raglans are like nbd and that neckline is completely. unacceptable. this is the shit that makes people wrinkle their noses when I mention that knitting is one of my passions. I make gorgeous, complicated works of art that look professional af. this is some hobby lobby shit.

No judging. I, too, am a millennial, although apparently a poorly informed one.

Best. possible. response.

That is a very real possibility.

Living our best lives, forealz

This is what I’m telling myself, rather than feeling sad about a kick-ass grown woman kowtowing to a bunch of 23 year-olds

I would really like to go back and re-watch it! It provided hours of merriment and derision for my best friend and me.

I mean, new season of SVU is coming down the pipeline in the next couple weeks, right?

I can see your point. I think it’s safe to say that the real loser in Kim’s Dress to Impress Formal Event Wardrobe is anyone with working eyeballs.