Conservatives are really bad at protesting. I remember when there was anti-gay group planning a nationwide protest of Target for their non-discriminatory stance on bathrooms. Lot of prep leading up to it.

Tapping is insane and seems like it would take forever to get anything.

Elderly scrolls?

He hasn’t talked to his wife, but has he talked to his incredibly sexy children?

As a Southerner (full disclosure: born in Virginia, but lived most of my life in SC) who loves fried chicken, and loves waffles, I’ve never fully understood the appeal of combining them. Maple syrup on chicken just doesn’t make sense to me.

“I was on top of her like a white on Rice!”

That’s my reaction to so many words this election: Hitlery, Killary, libtard, and used less frequently now, Obummer.

I see what you did there.

Is there any mental image more fun than Martin Shkreli praising Obama in front of Milo?

That’s how I respond to my dad when he says something terrible.
“Hahaha, Dad, you’re awful...let’s get you out of here before someone asks me to defend you.”

The thing is, the people who support him are gonna say that anyway. So they might as well actually do what they’re gonna get accused of.

In fairness, if it were up to me, those words would never ever appear together in my brain.

That was the Day the Clown Cried.

In the meantime, the Georgia/Carolina game is still on.

My dad did something similar when he was doing Habitat for Humanity and straight up sliced off the tip of his finger. Just drove to the hospital like “well, this is an inconvenience!”

If Ivanka becomes VP, we’ll see a level of sexual tension on a ticket unseen since McCain/Palin.

That dude in the glasses is practically gleeful.

#NOTALLQUARTERBACKS

I’m more of a Grapefruit guy, but otherwise, I’m 100% on board.

I can’t speak for running, but I’ve definitely seen at least one video where a guy rubs one out while biking.