What I find confusing is the varying sentences that got people into Litchfield. Most of them seem to be there for drugs or fraud. But then you have people like Miss Collette, Yoga Jones, Pennsatucky, and the Golden Girls, who are all there for murder. And I dunno what Crazy Eyes did, but I imagine assault was involved.

What frustrates me the most is that Jim and his ilk are basically saying that they prefer children to die of preventable diseases than risk children getting autism (which they won’t).

One of my least favorite things about my gym is that two of the twelve screens lined up in front of the cardio machines are tuned to Fox News, and I’m usually working out during Outnumbered. I sometimes take my glasses off so I can’t see what they’re talking about.

I’ve met this guy. My father worked with this guy. And I’m probably one of his biggest critics, since he’s my state’s most visible political face.

I’m not finished, so theoretically this could change, but for now I’m digging the shit out of this movie. My favorite movie ever is Memento, and this is basically that with less philosophical musings and more shooting people.

For people obsessed with “professional victims”, they sure whine a lot.

I think they’re more likely to just not talk about it at all.

A conservative brony.

Shit, I have no idea if you’re male, female, 20, 50, whatever, and I’m already excited to come over.

Batiste will probably win just because it’s way more affordable, but dry shampoo is just one of those things where you have to pay for quality.

Batiste will probably win just because it’s way more affordable, but dry shampoo is just one of those things where…

Batiste is crap. TresEmme is crap. Dove is alright, but smells too strong.

Batiste is crap. TresEmme is crap. Dove is alright, but smells too strong.

It’s a wig.

this is the gritty reboot. Assault on Precinct 4 was the first one that started to become self-aware, and by 7 we were at full blown parody. They tried a less drastic reboot not long after, but this is the one I’m really excited for.

interesting idea to grow your mustache from your nostrils

(I did not know we had that kind of realultimatepower.net, but apparently we do)

I can’t speak for the exact town they list, but I went to college in Clinton, South Carolina, which is probably the biggest town in Laurens County. Both Clinton and the county seat are TINY. And Joanna apparently has a population of 1,600. Call me a snob, but I’m not comfortable setting down in a town with the same…

The one interview I keep seeing is where this white woman with the back to the camera says the officer acted “admirably” and should “get a medal.”

I will always hold a place in my mouth for original flavor Listerine, aka “the one where you can hear every germ in your mouth screaming in agony”

I will always hold a place in my mouth for original flavor Listerine, aka “the one where you can hear every germ in…

My first thought: