You were right. I called her. I told her how I am married now but think about her every day. I asked if she felt the same and all she had to say was THE MOBILE SITE FUCKING SUCKS.

Counter:  Missed go-ahead kicks in the final seconds of games are indeed the reason why games are lost.  Because you see, if the kick had been made, they’d have won.

The AFC East, barring this year, is usually fairly competitive vs other divisions. They’re over .500 since BB/Brady came to NE. And I said something above, but I’m going to elaborate more here, more narrowly focused on your comment about weak schedule. The Pats MAKE their schedule look weak. They didn’t get a weak…

Except Sox fans will easily buy the “We can’t afford him” narrative since they’ve spent the past decade+ honestly believing they’re a poor small-market team that can’t possibly compete with the financial might of other big clubs. There are still a nonzero number of Sox fans who don’t know they’ve been the payroll king…

They won’t even have to change her name for the character! They can even work some corny pun into the title and call it something like Patience is a Virtue and have it be about a skating couple that waits too-long to consummate their obvious hard-ons for each other, then when they finally quit their storied careers…

They don’t seem to have any sense of porpoise out there.

Just when the last y’at from White Flightsville finally, FINALLY stopped bitching about Bountygate...

looks like you picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue

If corner kicks are meningitis, shootouts are AIDS. Everyone understands this. 

So we’re all agreed then: VAR is a good thing and that handball rule sucks,

hey, another anti-VAR Deadspin article! This one making a strained cancer-cold analogy.  It’s funny that as more and more people and pundits are coming around on VAR and realizing that the real problem is vague or poorly worded rules Deadspin keeps digging in. If only they had something new to say instead of rehashing…

It’s the same as last week, when VAR disallowed a gorgeous Man City goal because it decided that Raheem Sterling’s shoulder was offside by a couple centimeters.

Its as if he’s a fucking savage or something. 

Could he *be* any more American?!

“Playoffs flameout” is an interesting way to describe pushing the eventual champions to 7 games and losing on a quadruple-bounce buzzer-beater 

Decent kickers aren’t going to put up with all the Nagy-tivity.

When goal differential is the first tiebreaker and there’s such an advantage to winning the group, you bring the rain until the whistle because Sweden is just as capable of hanging an ugly number on Thailand in their next game.

I’ve been calling NBC Sports for weeks. They kept showing Hurricanes instead of the goddamn Hartford Whalers games.

Watching a football team is 3 hours once a week. Baseball is three hours 5-6 times a week.

“Stop saying jets are a disaster!”