Awwww man, I was really looking forward to Sony’s next reboot, starring Ty Simpkins as Peter Parker facing off against Big Wheel, White Rabbit, that dead Nazi made out of bees, and a female version of Razorback! Also this time Peter has a vestigial tail!! And he discovers Uncle Ben was a secret trucker-agent working…

Hi exhausted, I’m—

Corey composes his plan: “Step One: Push Nancy Pelosi. Like, shove her real hard. Maybe ram a shoulder into her and pretend I didn’t see her. Huh huh huh huh huh.”

We have no choice but to keep up the Good Fight, because the Bad Guys never rest and surrender isn’t an option. A lot of people never seem to grasp that; they think if they vote once every four years (if that) the rest will take care of itself. But once the (t)rump (e)mpire is done, the shitheads will rally around…

I should’ve realized introspection wasn’t in your skill set.

Daaaaaaamn, you had a ball running around screaming “U STOOPID” at people, didn’t you, two-hour-old shitposting-account?

you’d be trying to figure out what is the best way for Trump to lose the election

Gotta love his posture, though. He looks like a damn duck. (I’d say Professor Squawkencluck, but maybe two people outside of Brexitdome would get the reference and besides I adore Shauna MacDonald’s voice.) Now I want to see a variant of Glom Tales with Junior, Eric, Ivanka and Jared as “the kids” and Don-Don as a…

There’s nothing to lose by waiting.

“We’re NOT Nazis! And anyone who says we are vill be executed like der verdamnt untermenchen they are!!”

Can’t wait to “pay my respects” to God Emperor Puppet Sharpie. 

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Somewhere out there are the scripts to several unfilmed Phibes sequels. I DL’d a couple of them long, long ago—don’t have access to them at the moment—but one of them struck me as a tragic missed opportunity.

I was all set to hate on this because of the thumbnail for the inexclipably popular Halloween III: Season of the Witch, but then I saw the love for Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 and all was forgiven and forgotten. Garbage Day was prophetic (this was long before random shootings became a daily occurence in ‘Murika) a…

Scandal and Quill should compare notes.

Dogshit articles like this are why I leave my ad blocker on.

Just like how climate scientists lie about climate change to live like kings off all that research grant money! /s

“Omigod, wings! X-wings rule. Y-wings suck. B-wings rule. A-wings suuuuuck.”

Sarah Palin—remember her?

For what it’s worth, Secret Service veterans are reportedly not thrilled that the president keeps insisting his personal property is easier to secure.