Goddamn coworker said that Black Lives Matter got Trump elected. I couldn’t tell her what I was thinking because I want to keep that job.

To all the pseudoprogressives who spent the entire campaign sniveling that Clinton “didn’t earn (your) vote” and Both Sides Equally Bad!!™... FUCK YOU and ENJOY YOUR NEW LIVES. I’m an elderly white guy with no children. I’ll be dead soon and I was still more concerned for the future of this nation than any of you. But…

Throw the word “cuck” around a lot, do you?

You either need to live in a place where people piss in the street all the time...or have already spent too much time in a place where people piss in the street all the time.

So if I have diarrhea and a bucket, I’m good to “go,” right? The odor doesn’t enter into the equation?

Well, fuck him right in the pussy.

“Ah wuz real bad constipated once! Same thing!!”

They finally found a good alternative to Badly-Imitated Dan DeCarlo and the “vs Predator” garbage.

(Spoiler Alert: PseudoprogressiveNashville was never going to vote for anyone. He just wants all us stupid proles to weep and grovel in the burning purity of his convictions.)

“Maybe if I kill myself like Hemingway, people will remember me fondly!” — MST3K

This is the pseudoprogressive paradox: if you want the office (and stand a chance of winning it), you are automatically unworthy of it because your ambition corrupts you. If Bernie got into the Oval Office, within three months the pseudoprogs would be screaming “betrayal” because (1) he won, and (2) they’d start doing…

Sure, running for office might actually accomplish something, but who would want to give up yelling and throwing shit—or as pseudoprogressives call it, activism?

Sure usin’ “seems” a lot there.

Still going to hell, creep.

Almost enough to make me miss the relative pleasantness of Google Glass glassholes.

Even under the likes of Hammy, No!, Gawkwork still has yet to reach the depths of RawStory, which not only breathlessly regurgitated MSNBC’s deceptively-edited Bill Clinton quote, but went so far as to further misrepresent what he said by rearranging segments of said quote.

This is just another cog in the Clinton-Wasserman-Schultz-Goldman-Sachs Vast Rat-Fucking Conspiracy, and I assure you that this ploy has not only failed to deceive me I have just contributed eighty gajillion dollars to Bernie’s campaign as a direct result.

It’s just...cosplayers cosplay as fictional characters. Someone in the Marvel Universe cosplaying as Doc Doom is like someone impersonating Putin in ours. Or just being a Sikh, an actual Sikh, in a Trump rally that serves free beer.

He just can’t stand watching white men being oppressed like this while all across the nation blacks are not picking cotton.