On the other hand, I wept like a punk throughout the last thirty minutes of Deep Impact, while Armageddon just made me roll my eyes until they burned.

Pro: James Horner’s score (which would be cannibalized for his Star Trek work); a ship with tits; George Peppard the Space Cowboy; the Destruction-of-Alderaan knockoff is actually better than the original. Con: John Saxon is no Darth Vader and Richard Thomas is...Richard Thomas. If you want a Seven Samurai homage…

You know it. I love this piece of idiotic crap.

Re-read the second-to-last paragraph.

Already done, if only as a reference.

Whenever DC has a standout success—be it in movies, cartoons, or comics—they spend the next year or two trying to reshape the DCU to reflect it...and then revert. How many characters and references did Kingdom Come alone spawn? Yet how many of them are still around? Young Justice’s Aqualad was a breakout character…

Of course! She’s the Lady! She got the booty!

I’m sure The Long Kiss Goodnight isn’t quite as awful as I’m told, but I did see a snippet involving a gun hidden in a suitcase that ruined it for me. (It’s one of those “Hollywood guns” that apparently weigh absolutely-nothing pounds.) Also, I sat through Driven on a flight and you can’t pay me to ever watch another…

You have to go out of your way to find it—as in, Japanese DVD—but Francis Ford Coppola’s hapless nephew Christopher (director of Deadfall) pinched out a terrible/outstanding creature feature about two virulently racist men—one white, one black—who discover that they are the love children of Shirley Jones, who was…

It ground to a halt around Thanksgiving for reasons I’m afraid to speculate about, but everyone should check out Steve Rogers’ American Captain, a sometime-great sometimes effed-up civilian-world webcomic about Cpt. Rogers and his issues.

How to make a teabagger’s head asplode in flames: Remind him that Jimmy Carter was a born-again family-values conservative Christian with seven years service in the USN aboard a nuclear submarine and graduate work in nuclear physics.

The horrifying reality: Gadget’s head is a hollow tube. His brain is located...elsewhere.

Super-voice.

My theory is that the center of the thing is vibranium, while the rim is adamantium (or in the MCU, uncopyrightium). That way the edge does the frisbee damage while the “dome” takes the falling and bullet impacts.

Spidey’s already firing a microfilament out of a device so small as to be invisible that he built in his bedroom, which has no visible source of propulsion yet can blast said microfilament across five hundred yards of high winds instantaneously.

The best ripoff was Damnation Alley. Jack Smight’s half-assed knockoff of Roger Zelzany’s novel was so skillfully ripped off from Max that it came out two years earlier!

I always wanted to see a parody titled Maximum Max: Beyond Thunderbucket.

HARDY: It’s really good actually, it contains elements of all kinds of stuff. From Ocean’s Eleven, to Batman, you can get all the wrappers out and it would be a big, really cool, Technicolor, Pulp Fiction…It’s a psychological fuckfest, it’s absolutely awesome. It’s as if you would take Transmetropolitan and make it…

On the other side of the spectrum, I was an adventurer. When I was told in elementary school how chock full of nutrients a certain food was, I’d badger my mother to serve some for dinner. I have always been delighted by cooked spinach (probably because of Popeye, and salt) and okay with Brussels sprouts and asparagus…