April Fools!!

He transforms into his own Bat-Boat.

You will believe that sand can fly. Or not.

Irwin Allen's Production of The Swarm is mindbogglingly bad from opening frame to final-credits notice about how "hard-working American bees" should not be blamed for killer bee attacks. But it has the single most important element of an enjoyably bad movie: the director thought he was making an epic that would…

Ugh, yeah. And worse still, it was going to be a prequel. It was going to be all about Jonathan Brisby and Mr. Ages escaping. Where was it going to end? One hour before Jonathan's mission to sedate Dragon?

Please. Please imagine the book translated directly to film. (SPOILERS FOLLOW.) Jenner is already dead (his fatal adventure into a nearby town has drawn NIMH into the region), Moving Day Part II goes off flawlessly, and Mrs. B's escape from the birdcage is the story's climax.

Nobody should be returning for Season Two, including viewers.

Carbohydrates are a perfectly healthy dietary staple, so long as they're complex carbohydrates, which are higher in fiber and will help make you feel fuller longer.

"Not like this...like THIS!"

The tongue is an often-neglected part of oral care, but your tongue houses bacteria that causes bad breath.

Applies to any scent, really. I'm sure each of us has a horror story involving an elevator and someone wearing too much perfume/cologne.

Still using my old Gillette TracII! Have to be careful selecting off-brand replacement cartridges when Gillette's aren't available though—some are fine, others are worse than overused blades.

I get horrible, horrible ringworm-like rashes with antiperspirants. Nothing with deodorants, thankfully.

you aren't as sensitive about your own smells as much as you think you are

I put on a very clumsy "act" to convince the woman at the booth to let me into the theater to see Alien before realizing the people taking my money didn't give a damn. After that, catching up with Dawn of the Dead at the midnight movies and getting my free souvenir "air sickness bag" for Zombie became major…

You certainly don't want to make enemies of them.

A couple of days ago, the worst article I have ever read on Cracked spat out several reasons why anti-vaxxers cling to their idiocy, declared that ridicule would only make things worse, offered no alternative solution, then ended with the line: "Let's focus on the real enemy." The author did not define said real…

And Chuck C. Johnson's frequently-trotted-out "Asian wife" proves he can't be racist!

It's also the backstory of Bert I. Gordon's The Amazing Colossal Man, which is slightly dumber because ACM is an experienced military officer who ignores direct orders to run into a live danger zone to "rescue" x number of alive-or-dead plane-crash victims. (Also because it describes the human heart as a single-cell…

Was absolutely astonished when someone pointed this out to me. It soared straight over my head.