That was exactly the one I was imagining. 

I imagine being haunted by his ghost smells like Beechnut and stale urine.

I’m not always a fan of this guy but I am here for it every time he tweaks the conservative country base. Turning Jolene into a lamentation about a white woman stealing a black man’s lover is going to have delightful, hypertensive ripples through the country base and it brings me a certain amount of joy. I want him to…

The idea that the adult version of the main character is lamenting things being too PC just sounds like they’re taking a show that is explicitly about a race-switched character and softening any aspect of racial experiences to comfort potential white viewers. I’m excited for anything with Cheadle in it but this sounds…

Point three has me preemptively seeking out the embassy to surrender now. 

Richard Marx also acts as a volunteer Air Marshal, restraining unruly passengers from time to time. I’m this case, “from time to time” means just the once. But it’s a funny story and makes him cooler. 

Up next on CBS, Damn Us All To Hell, the new reality show in which contestants compete to devise innovative new ways to conclusively prove humanity was a mistake and we’re all doomed!

I will defend their deep dish as legitimately good, as well as cheap. 

And the team just stops and waits like he’s a passing train. They recognize him and see him coming with ample time to like…wrap a cloak around him or something. But no, just hold up an arm and watch as he passes by. 

Who on earth is spending $199 to hear from Michael Rappaport?! 

I like that you didn’t go with Gary Busey. You went Jake, adding one more layer of genetic degradation and unearned fame to the insult. That’s a well-crafted, scientifically sound burn. 

My vote’s now for him to host Jeopardy! In German. 

I like to think Andy Dick wakes up every morning, injects vodka into his eyeballs, sticks a suppository made of crack up his ass, and looks in the mirror before saying “I’m really worried about Joe.” 

Joe Rogan is a nad drip.

The malaria simulator version of FC was fun too. 

A type of fungal infestation of grain, known to cause spasms and hallucinations among medieval peasants. 

It took way too long to get to this post but I am so glad it’s here. 

I’m replaying the Arkham games and with each battle I find myself thinking of a different superhero that could be subbed in to that style of gameplay. Now I’ll add Ironman to the list.