I’d buy a Muff-Diving Batman action figure. 

I’m willing to bet one of the streaming services would go for it. And I’m not aware of Ben Stiller being up to anything else right now...tell me he wouldn’t be down for playing a gender-flipped Ginger.

I look forward to finding out how the Washington Generals end up spending time with this crew. 

Not gonna lie...the combination of those flavors would be tempting if it came from someone else’s restaurant. From his place I assume it tastes like stale cigarettes and Old Milwaukee. 

This is horrendous. But “that’s not going to work because I’m too fast” is a baller thing for a 6 y/o to say. 

I would watch workplace safety videos if she were cast in them. Preferably as the negligent employee whose callous disregard for proper situational awareness causes a tragic forklift accident. 

That’s a real conversation that real successful people had. Holy shitsocks is that awful.

I didn’t realize they were the same year. I agree that a little separation would’ve done M&C some good. You can’t out-franchise the folks at Disney and my take of “excellent historic nautical adventure” sure sounds better than “like that Disney pirates movie one theatre over but with more kids getting limbs blown off.”

One of the most frustrating cinematic realities for me is that POTC had multiple sequels and Master and Commander sunk after one awesome film. 

I’ll accept no explanation that leaves out Jason Statham’s character from The Meg.

Yep. Clicked on link thinking “why is Brock commanding an army of eagles?!” and I’m leaving with more unanswered questions. 

I’m surprised Johnny Knoxville hasn’t done an “Ow My Balls” series yet.

Such a bizarre thing I did not know I wanted until just now. 

I cannot wait to see what trolls get him to say. You know he’ll be endorsing or wishing well to all kinds of things he stands against because nobody with any sense will be screening this process. 

You know they love you because they extend you the courtesy of waiting until you die before dining. 

Any jackass who thinks The Root is “reverse racist against white people” needs to see how little patience the readership has for this story. The trolls can barely even find anything to troll on that thread. Not like they gave up completely of course, but they seem confused and disoriented. 

We all know how he loved pigs. 

That was my first thought too. Even the attempts to empathize with his pain are going to fuck his life up even worse. 

I’m much more interested in a movie version of Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.