Kristen Schaal as LeftBoob. Gilbert Gottfried as RightBoob. Recurring role for H. Jon Benjamin as Superfluous Third Nipple. 

This movie cemented my love of Ice T. 

Every time I see the Warriors pop up I get my hopes up that it’s because Rockstar has announced a PC port.

Nothing about this man is real. His Olympic bona fides, his teeth. His name isn’t even real. Madison Cawthorn is the elderly southern lady who solves crimes in one of Agatha Christie’s less well-received mystery series about antebellum murders. I bet dude’s not even paralyzed, he just hates leg day.

It really is the little things that make me grateful for an administration I wasn’t too excited about. A press secretary who can be polite and intelligent. An inauguration speech that doesn’t sound like a preface for one of the Left Behind books. A First Lady who has a job and probably won’t do hellscape Christmas. A…

He looks like he fantasizes about being Elliot Stabler, but could only afford the Walgreens costume.  

I feel bad for Sgt. Bearmace’s emotional support dog. Pooch has to be so embarrassed right now, and surrounded by so many bad smells in that picture. 

Unsurprisingly, that’s the precise title of the Mitch biography written by his mom.

With that single line, you’ve just launched the premise for a Tom Hanks movie about a women’s hockey league circa WWII. 

The only version of Matt Damon that matters. 

The notoriously prickly, drunken, and pugilistic subject. 

I’ve always been very disappointed that the movie wasn’t successful enough to justify filming more of the book series. I must be one of the nerd dads you describe. 

Yeah, it’s just shorthand for “I don’t like that this person I like is being criticized.” 

Yeah...I’m afraid I have to acknowledge this is one of those instances when maybe “both sides do it” has some truth.

If I were more artistic, you’d have just inspired my masterpiece. I now need an ED 209 flip-up bar cart.

“the largest weasel in North America” is one of the finest set-up lines I’ve seen in any serious article. 

It’s more complex than that. So a trio of lady country musicians once said something negative about a man who waged an unjustified war on false pretenses and it was justice to ruin their career. A famous comedian repeatedly exposes himself and it’s villainous “cancel culture” to think he should face consequences. A…

He backed Sanders, which could mean he went full Bernie Bro or it could mean Nunna is inadvertently confusing him with Cliff who is a known right winger.