When I moved recently, the guy installing my satellite demonstrated how to work the DVR by programming it to record first one episode, then every episode of this show and NCIS Bad Cajun Accent. I then told him I would not allow him to leave until he also showed me how to permanently delete any hint of this show from…

He’s a delight and the anger he triggers in my neighbors just by being a loud and proud leftist fills me with joy. I hope for great things from Fetterman.

For a brief, shining moment the headline had me thinking Biden recorded himself rapping and I was both the profoundly happy and utterly disgusted. I’m not sure there is a way to express how grateful and yet disappointed I am that this is not Biden turning his hat backwards and spitting out his dentures while doing his…

I shall now imagine that Henrik Perssson is some lesser demon of chaos, puttering about on social media and asking targeted questions of celebrities in order to make them the focal point of social media ire for saying something stupid when they’d have been better off just shutting up. If we look back, I bet that he…

No wonder wearing them on your belt was once the style.

Wait, if enough of us shout “Martha!” at the same time do you think it will end this mess?

Please read in the voice of a Jacky standup comic from the 90s:

The Valkyries have really dropped their recruitment standards. 

Yeah, this is something I’d be into if they weren’t trying to tell me that was Vimes. 

You may be onto something there. The real question though is was he so racist that he also thought Dinesh D’Souza was Obama?

I like the implication that we’d be scandalized if Obama really were bisexual. Ok...let’s assume you’re not full of shit (you’re definitely full of shit) and that a dude had sex with Obama. We’re not the ones who have a problem with what other grownass adults do with their genitals! That’s you all’s hang up!

Ive never been to the Avocado, but I need to give it a shot. I miss the pre-Kinja AVC fiercely.

I hate that nowhere near me makes deep dish. I hate that I’m considering spending the money to have deep dish airlifted to me. 

Marty, you’re on a roll with the firsts. Bringing it back with a vengeance! But deep dish is delish. 

Great suggestion! Mojo, seriously overestimating the complexity and level of effort involved in moving her to the new house.

Someone needs to get in his ear and start whispering that this is the moment Jesus chose for him. Maybe they could use a fly to deliver the message.

“they want to hug me and they want to kiss me”

And watching something filmed with Darabont’s original script, of course. 

I will, but only if you can do it in shorthand.