You might say it’s his...thing he does consistently enough to warrant a Latin phrase.

Well, not US American. And our current one is not human. A Canadian is much less a stretch of the rules than a semi-sentient ball of refuse.

We should’ve at least gone for a good one, like Trebek. 

That’s Pittsburgh after a fucking Kenny Chesney concert. 

My guess is 100%. 

This really undermines my plan to purchase a normal sized house and build a brobdingnagian village around it. 

Now I miss the alternate world where Lennie Briscoe was the lead detective on SVU.

I would pay a lot to see a movie in which they each play themselves feuding with one another.

I think I’m going to put the internet down and walk away for a while now. This is too sweet a note to end the week on for me to risk clicking on anything else. Rock on Bellen. 

If that isn’t a joke in the The Life of Brian remake I just invented I shall fire the imaginary writers!

I always suspected it was Puritans who invented CrossFit. 

He was all “Do you even pillage, bruh?”

I was trying to figure out what type of cookies they were. What’s an appropriate “sorry my racism came out” apology cookie? I’m betting they were those dry Danish ones that come in a big tin that are only ever given as gifts to relatives you don’t much like. 

I went low-carb because Crom appeared and told me I had the soft thews of a city-dweller and made the women lament for all the wrong reasons. He then laughed and called me a newb when I asked him what thews were. 

Yeah, but after I’ve used 4,167 tubes of toothpaste, that device will have paid for itself!

Soon, maybe the herds of wild ZMF will again roam the plains.. 

That’s the sequel, simply titled Number 2.

I give the people what they want!

THANK YOU! At least someone’s been reading my fan fiction. 

I think there aren’t nearly enough snarky comments on these ads. It’s really an untapped snark market. I also want to write a short story based on this persons pantry. They are definitely a serial killer. 

I think there aren’t nearly enough snarky comments on these ads. It’s really an untapped snark market. I also want…