The only acceptable answer. 

MASH does this magical thing wherein no matter how many times I binge a block of rerun episodes, I always manage to see a new one. I think there’s a secret lab somewhere producing new episodes with time-frozen versions of the original cast.

Was there an episode where the crew punished a racist patient by having the javelin throwing gentleman donate blood? I have vague memories of such a thing, but there’s so much MASH I can’t trust my memory completely. 

I feel like calling it this will backfire. I foresee an upcoming press conference...

Can someone investigate him for wearing what appears to be a fur-lined muppet-skin cape?

It was subtle, but they peppered in some clues all along. 

The M&M commercial in which Peanut gleefully announces that they’ve eaten one of the newer ones (Hazelnut?) while the others stand around, stained with his messy innards...so dark. So hilarious. 

We lost a lot of good men, women, and dick-faced pocket monsters on that grim day.

Nothing will make me cry quicker than hearing Grandma’s Hands. Man was a genius. 

Stabler Texas Ranger. He solves crimes with kicking. 

There’s no justice in a universe where Stabler gets a spinoff before Tutuola. 

Now do Dancing in the Streets! The eerily empty streets are on topic, and the rest is always amusing. Or disturbing. Or both. 

That scene was perfect. I hear that song playing in my head every time I make a knowingly stupid choice while optimistically assuming it will work out just fine. Which...I should probably not hear that song as often as I do. 

He will never top this movie. Everyone involved should’ve retired after this one, as they captured perfection.

I’ll take any excuse to link to my favorite Funny or Die video

You crack yer eggs? Well how’s the terlet paper sitchyation in the castle, yer highness?

“Yurp,” gave me my first laugh of the week, and for that I thank you. 

I’ll also have the salmon, but I’ll insist that it’s been fed a diet of mercury and arsenic before being served by a cast member from that reality show where women competed for Bret Michaels’ affections.

That tiger up top is SO embarrassed to be in that picture. That’s a fantastic feline version of Jim Halpert’s look to the camera. 

She may not have been adored, but this story is.