I was assuming he’s used to ones made out of aspartame. 

You are technically correct, which is absolutely the best kind of correct.

Is it really “self-isolating” if people just don’t like being around you?

Dammit, if that’s Jesus I’m going team Antichrist  all the way.

I was curious, and IMDB made me curiouser. Almost the entire cast is named DiSalvatore. The movie involves characters name Mayor Creeps and Nurse Hatchet. There’s a character named Arab played by a guy whose last name is Breuer. I may need to witness this at some point. 

And 45 reportedly does not have it. Your hypothesis  checks out.

An ice cream float is the ideal from of delivery for most medicines. 

If we’re all infused with just a little Hanks blood, it’s possible we’ll be cured of all sorts of evil. It’s also possible we’ll become hopelessly obsessed with typewriters. Seems a fair trade. 

There are precious few things I’d watch eight of that involve Wahlberg. A Ted miniseries. Seven sequels to The Other Guys (only if Will Ferrell remained involved). Maybe a tumble down eight flights of stairs.

Ok, so maybe lemon flavoring and bleach look similar, but how do you “grab the wrong glass” and have it be bleach? Unless someone poured a glass of bleach and set it near the seltzer flavorings that it happened to look like. So what I’m saying is some producer was trying to poison a kid. 

Which would be fine, but you know many of them didn’t commit and left their junk all beige and pink. Just look at the shoddy face work up there and tell me they committed to the taint!

There’s a 100% chance that a bunch of those folks got together for a smurf orgy very shortly after that picture was taken. 

I didn’t know Hot Topic could paint. 

It’s delightful to think two bored nerds just...decided to have an in-character-as-demonic-functionaries debate about Beethoven’s soul. This concept fills me with joy. 

Finding out Ace Merrill grew up to be Kiefer Sutherland should really scare them. You know he’s still holding a grudge. 

Beautifully written story. I don’t think I’ll be trying the recipe, but the story was worth it. 

Aim for the bushes. 

After reading the line “Okay, I need to know what, where, and Wahlberg,” I should stop internetting for the day. It won’t get better than this.

Spenser For Hire was a great show and deserves better. Winston Duke also deserves better. Boston...kind of had it coming. 

I’ll totally 100% believe him if he agrees to spend a week inside one of the hospital rooms where a confirmed patient is already living.