Story of my life.

Sweep the leg Johnny!

But... I mean, isn't it weird to dress a child up as an accused child molester? I have conflicted feelings on that one

These claims must be investigated! I will find out the truth!

Sploosh.

i can't it's made of men colors. it's not for me.

if he did, he would be the first. #brag

we all made that mistake, and deserve our lots in life because of it.

Yep, if only Stewart had thought to have been born to Fred C. Koch.

I see your "one child practicing trumpet" and I will raise you "I've taught beginning string players for nineteen years."

Damn you DVF! Damn you to hell!

He has an answer* for that, too, though:

This is Bud Rudd his slightly older brother.

Still "Fat Girl Costumes" for me — maybe I need to clear my cache.

#NotAllWiccans

OK I see "it fits my vaginal perfectly" comments all over the place. I have never had sex and thought to myself, oh, that penis was a bit of an odd fit. Maybe I should try it in a size up.

In fact, maybe it's because I've only had sex with a few people and normally in relationships so they're very spread out, but other…

Usually when you read about Bryan Singer expecting a child, he's having a few delivered to a pool party.

Reba's greatest performance, though, was her Academy Award worthy turn in Tremors.

"The fact that there even needs to be a Women in Hollywood event is a little bit sad. I mean, the men in Hollywood event is every day—it's called Hollywood. Fifty-one percent of the population should not have to have to schedule a special event to celebrate the fact that in an art that tells the story of what it means…

I kept running until I was depleted and made bad choices about how to conceal the exhaustion. I was aware of the chaos and finally chose different things."