Oh sure the NFL makes a big show of breast cancer awareness but the minute someone gives a fig about men's health it's a 15 yard penalty.

Holy shit, I love Tobias Menzies, but 15 years ago Jason Isaacs would have been PERFECT!!!

I assume there's a missing "and then my dog ate them" here because otherwise this story is really hilariously random.

This piece of analysis from HuffPo is also quite good!

Except that abortion rights are not about babies, they're about not forcing women to carry pregnancies they can't or don't want to carry. When men can get pregnant, they can have a say.

HAHA PEE OUT THEIR BUTTS. WHAT AN IDIOT. Everyone knows girls don't pee or poop. This guy needs to get a clue.

So I had a housemate in University who was, as the kids say, a bit of a player(Jack, for the sake of the story). One of the girls(Jill) he had an on-again, off-again thing with was this girl where it seemed like they actively disliked each other. They never dated, exactly, but every now and then she'd be there in the…

"Can I just get, like, straight grenadine?"

Wow if you did not hit her with the grocery sack full of perfectly shaped river rocks, you are a better person than I.

Eh, at least there was beer and weed.

I got lightheaded about a quarter of the way through and had to stop. Awesome mental image to have as I prepare to start my clomid...

I'm not married, and I've never been to a total horrorshow wedding, but at my parents' wedding, my mom watched a woman in a polyester jumpsuit (apparently the date of a friend) stuff an entire wheel of cheese from the buffet table into her purse and walk out.

My favorite Chris Pratt moment ever.

I found one of the jerks who bought one of these!

Oh, god - I have one of those. It's going to be SO FUNNY when they break up.

I snorted spaghetti up my nose reading this one. It perfectly encapsulates the inanity of those statuses.

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone, Wiz Khalifa is only 27? God, I hate being reminded of how many people are my age or younger that are astronomically more successful than me.

I was thinking more Orsen Wells.

I actually love Manara, but I would only hire him if I wanted a hot chick with freckles who can't find her pants. "Ooops! If I'd known you were coming I would have looked before!"

My friend and I took advantage of the Two for One deal at the Abortionarium last Tuesday. Got my membership card punched too.