I’m guessing (I don’t know the La La Land dudes) that the bald fellow who broke the news over the mic was the above-mentioned Jordan Horowitz?

I’ve never seen him before but I admire how he was serious as a heart attack about this. He wasn’t having any jokes, he was not putting up with any confusion, and he fucking…

$38,000 cash to a HS basketball player? No.

just start throwing Romans at the problem. Eventually, one will be good enough.

Usually I can ignore stupid grammar mistakes. I make enough of them myself, after all.

Forget it, Jake; it’s Floridatown.

“That’s can’t possibly be our client: he hasn’t hit anyone all year.”

It was undoubtedly the rich guy and, without any suggestion or coaching by my attorney, I also want to say that I am 99% certain that he was acting within the scope of his duties as an employee such that his employer, who happens to have a ten-figure net worth, may be liable for his actions.

The best of takes.

Thanks. These were good takes though.

How weird would it be for Jerry Jones and Bob McNair to run ads opposing the bill? Not because they care for the people being oppressed, of course, but because they wouldn’t get to be part of the NFL Owners Dick Measuring Contest anymore.

Remember: the market and corporations are always right when reacting to governmental over-regulation.*

Yeah, I recently watched Man in the High Castle. I don’t recommend it. Seeing America fictionally embrace fascism hurts too hard when so many are ready to do it in reality.

My parents watched it. They said “Wow, it was really good, but it was really hard to watch.”

Generational racism is the bed bug infestation of our national experience.

There’s something about the phrase “gently obscured nipples” that makes me giggle, too. 

And then they can drag race Camaros.

Joe Biden should invite all the players that are not attending over dinner and video games.

It’s easy:

Have you tried watching football from the front row on the 50? It isn’t that great. Sitting on the 200-300 level railing is the best seat in the house. Perfect blend of being close, but being elevated so you can see the whole field without craning your neck.

The tears on this website might be a close second. It’s a fucking football game, not a metaphor for the country.