I'm still awaiting my generation's answer to Paul McCartney's brilliant moment of hackery, tacky synths and all.

Aww. Thanks!

Well, this story isn't from a holiday party, but it was an office party, and I sure as hell did make an ass out of myself. It was my first big party at my first real job; I was in charge of planning the day's activities, so naturally I was in panic mode for an entire week straight before the event. I wanted to impress…

Probably because he skewered him for molesting his interns.

of all the ~hot dudez~ who could have won, it haaaad to have been keith?

Nothin' like a little soy-based lube to get things moving.

If it's early enough in the dating, you could always say, "Yes! Would you like to see mine?"

"Anna is it time to unleash our secret plan? I can't wait to rule the world!" "Not yet Hillary, be patient, and don't look so excited, people will suspect something."

How are you typing?

He looks like the guy from Arrow

Vulva dress alert.

Ebola wouldn't have been my first choice to fight the Wedding Industrial Complex, but it certainly seems effective.

You know, it's not ebola that's ultimately going to kill us all. It's a lack of a common fucking sense.

You know, I'm beginning to suspect that Dr. Luke might not even be a real doctor.

Again unclear on why any of this precludes a person from being sexually assaulted.

Ugh, I remember people in middle school saying that girls with thigh gaps weren't virgins. :(

Yes and yes. Thigh gap here and been called chicken legs my whole life. Just face it, no one's body is "perfect" so can we quit shaming women already?

OMG yes, please. I don't have a thigh gap, nor do I want one, but the hype for them and then the hype against them were awful. Just because it's an unattainable standard doesn't mean that there aren't real people with them. But by all means, lets go around making them feel like crap for their natural body type.…

What if there is a hidden message in his tweets? He capitalizes like that for a reason, maybe?