I’m surprised microwave popcorn is even still on the market, doesn’t everyone know it’s a terrible health hazard?

“Resounding commercial failure” is kind of harsh. It wasn’t renewed but it did go a full season after all, it’s not like there was a huge scandal or it was yanked off the air after one episode or it tanked Comedy Central and his career. As far as failures go it’s pretty tame.

Yes, I don’t give a damn that nobody gets them anymore, my OCD demands I make classic Simpsons references on the AV Club and make classic Simpsons references I shall do.

One would think most superheroes would be gay. The endless workouts in the gym and the flashy skin-tight costumes seem a draw, not to mention the free time and disposable income requiring an urban lifestyle without familial obligations. Plus most of us have a bit of practice keeping a secret identity, especially in…

So President Keane saves democracy by stepping down so a man nobody elected can be president? The ironing is delicious.

I’m a sucker for corporate mergers when the two companies are genuinely in love. Call me a romantic.

Is Paul staying with Sprint? Because I will do whatever Paul tells me.

That’s how almost all my friends and I bond. Every time we go to a movie or a party we swap all of our clothes every hour.

Mustard or pants? I vote mustard.

Some Beatles nerd will probably point to quadrant B35 on the Dutch version of the Sgt. Pepper’s cover now.

Movies are such a collaborative effort, I am generally fine with putting a footnote on many of them if there’s a disgraced director or actor involved. Like Chinatown, it’s such a great work (and one of the best screenplays ever) that it would be a shame to toss it in the trash, but that doesn’t mean Polanski gets a…

Can you pay with Flooz?

You can’t put limits on movies with names like “Infinity War” or “The Neverending Story.” Does anyone know a good mall lawyer?

How many of these Infinity War stories are we going to get? They keep coming and coming and coming going on and on and on with no end in sight.

I heard from a Texan that the limp-wristed pansies in Taxachussetts have to sign a waiver before eating any chili hotter than one alarm.

My friend from the future says The Simpsons’ record will be broken in 2038 with the airing of the eleven thousand and thirty-fifth episode of Kevin Can Wait.

I got a Neutral Milk Hotel notification for this?

If one person doesn’t order alcohol though, the bar or restaurant really needs to be careful not to mix the drinks up. Maybe they’re pregnant. Maybe they are 12 months into AA. Or they are Muslim or Mormon. People do abuse their right to complain and make special demands and there is obviously a need to forgive the…

Yeah.. Frasier was already on TV when Clerks came out, I think snobby coffee culture was on the mainstream radar in 1994.

She’s Australian, you know.