They were hoping the song would be “Mrs. Sandwoman” but it was not to be.

I give you ‘Gloria’, the spin-off of All in the Family no one asked, and even fewer watched.

The only thing he denied was sexual assault, which wasn’t exactly the thing she accused him of. He didn’t deny the myriad other things—only the one thing she didn’t say he did.

If it was mutually toxic, one way to cleanse is to be a grown-up and apologize rather than accusing someone of being a cheating liar, especially when others have backed up that person’s take on how you are a garbage person. Which has happened. All he needed to say right now was that he’d done things he wasn’t proud…

She does say in the post that he can say I’m sorry. Rather than what he said, even a qualified ‘Sorry’ would’ve been better.

“Goodnight, and Fuck Trump.” Yeah, we should make this a thing.

He said it twice, apparently. It should be the new “Thanks to my agent.”

So now even the ex-wives of Trump are cribbing from Michelle Obama.

We’ll find out tomorrow, apparently.

Calculated leaks when you get that close to the circle. Everything that’s been leaked has, for the most part, ended up as a benefit to Trump, who is more popular with his faction than ever.

Possibly the sinkhole was where he put her body—he insisted on planting Macron’s tree just so he could test how easily it was to dig into the soil around the White House.

She’s a model who loves being photographed, in various states of clothing. Given how much of a nose-dive her career took when she became First Lady, and how widely-reported it was she was miserable with no real way out of her marriage, maybe she had a successful suicide attempt.

But it just proves he knows how to open an envelope. No proof he took the letter out, or even read the letter.

It’s been a while since he acted, perhaps. Also, I kinda thought maybe he agreed to do it again just to work with his father one last time—Rance Howard died in October so he must’ve been on his way out when they filmed the Howard family scenes.

Seriously don’t get why he’s holding it like that. First, maybe it isn’t actually addressed to him? Secondly, the hands... dear god, the hands. It almost looks like he’s sending a hand signal, or was told he’s sending a hand signal.

I’d suspect they’re hoping we’re more likely to forget the past week or so.

Really? Hm. I didn’t know. Not really familiar with how ghost-writing works—I assumed usually the subject selects the author. And I don’t have a problem with it, I suppose. I’m just surprised.

There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Tucker Fucking Max—why is he co-writing Haddish’s autobiography? What in his writing oeuvre made her pick him? And why isn’t his name on the cover as co-writer?

Zelda Rubinstein was on a forgotten David E. Kelley tv show, Picket Fences, in the early 90s and was a joy on the show. Her character was killed off—missing for a few episodes, then discovered frozen in her own chest freezer—I think because of a serial killer, but I may be confusing two storylines. Her brother, played…

I guess even in a tux, on my wedding day, I wouldn’t be able to remove my hand from my infamous abs either.