It’s sad how numb we’ve become to these school shootings

like a helicopter.

“Bad Moon Rising” will also be accepted.

“We don’t exist.”

Any arena that still employs an organist is now obliged to play “Blue Moon” any time Matthews is on the ice for a stoppage.

The look on his face is just priceless, just dreed because he knows this will be all over the internet and likely what he will be best known for, the guy who scored a butt goal. 

Reenactment of the scene

Today I learned: Sáček is the Czech equivalent of Sanchez.

Ah yes, the old “butt boner.”

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

I guess when you’ve just been catching kids thrown/dropped from a burning building, you’ve earned the chance to diss local sports men.

I knew that comment would have a swift and severe backsplash.

An inexperienced coach needs a reliable brain trust around him.

So, to summarize, Robert Kraft gave Antonio Brown a full release. No one else sees the irony?

Charles Haley texts a rookie

Ya know, if we just cut out the middle man and started a nationally televised Prison Football League we could finally watch all of our favorite NFL stars in their prime guilt-free.

Pats Fans at 7AM: Those texts weren’t that threatening! It was hyperbole! What’s the big deal?

Yo, absolutely people want to destroy you because of the power you hold. You’re a rich male who thinks you can have the power to get away with sexual assault.

I reached out to Antonio Brown for comment, but succeeded only in getting my arm wet in the toilet.