I did a lol. And would gladly follow the dog family above some kind of singing white lady girl from America who is tall and has a a house with friends in it.

He’s probably trying to angle for a song collaboration with megawatt flattery.

Jesus fucking h Christ, I used to think it was funny how pissed Ryan used to get when people mistook him for Bryan Adams. I’m beginning to think it’s Bryan who should take offense.

A mediocre artist that nobody will remember or care about in 100 years compares to one of the most enduring artists of all time?

A mediocre artist that nobody will remember or care about in 100 years compares to one of the most enduring artists of all time?
I don’t think so.

He compares the exercise of working through 1989’s songs to “being in Ghostbusters or something, and then all of a sudden I have to go do Shakespeare”. As in, his material is the goofy franchise, hers is the oeuvre of the greatest writer that ever lived. It’s possibly an overgenerous analogy.

Together they make a Demi-Poot which is like, what, half a fart?

It’s funny because that’s how I feel about alcohol. Booze baffles me. Headache, dehydration, not to mention the hangover.

I’d be pissed if someone ruined my wedding, but if they bit my dog I’d punch them in the fucking face.

In the meantime, [Mila]’s hiring a “granny nanny” to watch Wyatt

People really are the worst.

My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

I hope he gets every fucking penny, continues his education, and has a better life than any of those sad ass mother fuckers ever will.

I think it all goes back to when my brother would eat peanut butter twix in the car when we were both teenagers driving to school together. He’d chew with his mouth open and the whole car would smell of overly sweet peanuts. I couldn’t handle it, man, I couldn’t handle it.

THANK YOU. Whenever a guy says he “hates drama” back away slowly without breaking eye contact until you are out of the room. Then run.

People who say that are always the worst drama-creating fucklords.

Your name <3!!!

I fucking love Marc Maron.

Watch Kendall whip? Nay nay.