Are you for real? That’s gonna be my go to sext from now on.

marry me!

When I read the headline I pictured like my dad and his friends learning how to skateboard and I thought it would be a cute story... I was wrong. This shit is not cute.

Because Canada tbh. We tend to be pretty lenient about parole. It’s fairly unusual for someone to be sentenced without the possibility of parole, even for something as horrendous as this. I doubt he’ll ever get paroled, but it’s pretty fucked that he even gets to apply.

Agreed. HATE yogurt.

so much bland

I have to admit, “¿Homo estás?” made me laugh really fucking hard.

I came here to make fun of people, but then I remembered that I always take the drawstrings out of my bunnyhugs as soon as I get them, sooo I guess i’m an idiot too...

Also, isn’t a recall kind of the opposite of proactive?

Yeah, Chip Wilson is a piece of shit.

My favourite thing about this is that it made me Google Bristol Palin’s and the first suggestion when I typed in “Bristol” was “Bristol stool chart”.

Yes I used to work at La Senza and this is so accurate.

I guess there was a funny moment with my wisdom teeth too. I got two of my wisdom teeth out when I was 13 because I had to have them out before I got my braces on for the whole schedule of my eventual jaw surgery to work out. They gave me laughing gas, which I had never had before. I had never been high or drunk or…

When my brother woke up after he got his wisdom teeth out, he was CONVINCED that he had accidentally gotten a gender reassignment surgery. Like he was bawling to my mum about how he changed his mind and he didn’t want to be a woman anymore, etc etc., and nothing my mum said could convince him of reality for like an…

Musk is like the worst word.

Maybe she is a black lady pretending to be a white lady pretending to be a black lady... It’s... modern art?

oh god I'm crying

Do dudes not realize that sometimes their junk smells gross too?

It’s a pretty easy mistake to make but we still made fun of my uncle for years for losing one of his kids.

Ewww getting puked on is the worst! My friend puked on me at the fair once when we were kids. We were on a spinny ride, he was in the inside seat, I was in the outside seat, he puked, centrifugal force... I still can’t eat scrambled eggs.