Laverne Cox > Beyonce. Always.

When the Wall fell, the number one movie in West Germany was...Dirty Dancing. Discovering this allowed me to make sense of why I heard (I've Had) The Time of My Life on the radio at least once every day I was in Berlin.

Awww. How cute. He's living a real-life Kevin Costner movie.

Because he, too, is horrible—but in an entirely other smugly bland (or blandly smug) way?

Nah. Eddie Cibrian is the token.

Its frustrating when hot yoga is deemed Bikram. Yes. Bikram is hot yoga, but not all hot yoga is Bikram. I would venture heated vinyasa classes burn more calories than Bikram because there is an actual FLOW. Bikram has zero flow or variation on their poses. It just has mirrors, ungodly heat, carpet that smells Doritos…

That night, they did party like it was 1999.

You forgot Beyoncé for celebrity aspiration because every Jezebel post mentions Beyoncé.

It could have been a lot worse if Johnny Depp were in it. (Can't those two just skip the moviemaking and go on vacation together when they want to hang out?)

He's going to spend all of his time fighting the elected official over Olivia Pope, isn't he?

Please tell me they do not refer to Nyong'o as REGAL, aka the go-to adjective for women of color—just as ARTICULATE is used for their male counterparts.

Really? You couldn't think of a better insult than one that was meth-related? First off, St. Louis and Missouri are largely two different animals. Second, the state recently lost its meth capital of the U.S. designation, which is really only gauged on the number of busts. http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/cri…

Ok. So it won't be with women. Can it be Jon Hamm and Chris Meloni then?

So they're into Kombucha. I wonder if juice fasts are next.

Vanessa Hudgens should rock sans fards more often. It's very Orphan Black Cosima.

WHY OH WHY has no one delivered on my Jon Hamm & Chris Meloni suggestion?!

It definitely does not, but recently finishing my teacher training two weeks ago, I can say it changed my life and has made me conscientious of who I am. I plan on sticking with it because I rather enjoy not being an asshole. [Fingers crossed]

For real? Jay-Z and Beyonce aren't your typical "black celebs." But given the tight reign she has over the press—do we ever see her in the tabloids?

Scrolling quickly, I thought they were bashing a hungover Queen Latifah sans fards. So I scrolled back up to feel some outrage and then realized oh hey, its LeAnn Rimes so carry on. Until then silently apologizing to the Queen and hanging my head in shame.

And no mention of Goopy being jealous since she used to date Affleck? Kid tabloid writers these days, I bet they don't even know what Miramax was.