Ah, I see your point. Sorry about that. To be perfectly clear: there are no bombs in your foreskin! Foreskins do not need to be handled like Faberge eggs! And all penises are equally wonderful!

I’m married, and I don’t get this either. My relationship is no different than it was before we got married. It’s nice to be considered each other’s family now, but when we’re at home, hanging out together, it doesn’t feel different to be doing it as husband and wife v. boyfriend and girlfriend. I think that people…

Shit, this has me spooked. It’s hard? That’s a constant? I mean, yeah, we argue occasionally, because that’s life. But 10 years and one baby down, and I wouldn’t describe it as “hard.” Does this mean the other shoe is about to drop? Do I not have a “real” marriage? Is this all a farce and I’m going to find out about…

I go through a metric shit ton of Costco-brand lactase pills. They work- I still can’t really drink milk, but I can eat soft cheeses again. The problem I run into is that people think I’m lying and give me “surprise dairy”- as in, I ask if there’s dairy in this, they say no, and 15 minutes later I’m digging through my…

I just sent this in but I am a grey and it probably won’t get read. In negotiations for a three-some with my current male lover we had a plan whereby I was having a promising third man (who is bi) over. I was to warm him up to the idea and then invite lover #1 over. I wrote: “He is adorable. I can’t wait to have you…

My good friend/sometimes fuck buddy.

“I just need it! It’s like I’m a diabetic and there’s insulin in your ass and I have to get it with my tongue!” Classy.

“I’ll reach up and grab your waste and pull you into my face.”

“I would eat cereal out of your asshole”

“I know I’m not the most handsome guy, but I bet I’d look a lot better with your pussy juice all over my face.”

I fucking love the idea of using Socratic Questioning in the style of cognitive-behavior therapy in sexting. I’m just gonna ask you questions until you reach the conclusion I’d like you to reach; it’s much more salient if you’re able to get there on your own.

I like to send awkward sexts because I’m horrible at dirty talk.

Now I see that my cat has been reading this, and it all is so obvious. Like when I wake up in the middle of the night to find him lording over me staring with murder in his eyes, I sometimes catch his eye quickly and (like the email) he breaks eye contact like it was an accident and leaps off the bed making a loud…

Huh. You'd think a doctor's office would be more understanding!

My new husband and I stayed in a cute little cabin on the Olympic Peninsula and cooked for ourselves the whole week while exploring the rain forest and local beaches. The very last night, we decided to splurge on a nice dinner out. We got all dolled up and had a drink or two and had a lovely evening. Driving along the…

"That was very interesting to me, as an evolutionary psychologist, that it reflects kind of ancestral tendencies."