dont bring your bible to school - its killed more people than guns could ever hope to.

Hey all. Just wanted to drop in here and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who’s read the piece and everyone who’s commented below. I had to kind of talk myself into writing this, for a number of reasons, but I’m glad I did, and I’m deeply moved by the responses here—by those of you sharing your own…

“Absolutely, I’m a real boxer,” Paul said. “I’ve done it for a year and a half now...”

Renner = Bacon... Compliments just about everything. Try to eat a dinner where bacon is the main protein. Feels weird man.

Just when I start to think I have a decent handle on the world, I find out there’s not only a Jeremy Renner app, but also, apparently, an audience for it.

Um, have you ever been around any Oxy addicts? For the truly addicted, they would never be able to perform at the high level of an MLB pitcher, one who was in the league for several years. Its one thing to be a cokehead, another to be one who likes their weed, but that fucking drug will cripple your ability to be a…

Oh God, airball stories are the best. A friend of mine airballed a fucking FREE THROW when he finally made it into a game during our senior year. A FREE THROW. There was no pressure—the team was down 30 with 2 left to go, that’s why he was in the game—and he fucking whiffs. I don’t mean he grazed the bottom of the…

Oh, shit! I forgot my actual best one. This actually happened, embarrassingly, in college. I played soccer in college and we had the all-conference keeper on our team, so despite clearly being the second-best keeper in the league, I was a back up. The only time I actually saw game action was pre-season games and…

Junior high? So like 9th grade or younger? That’s...huh. 

Just a horrible, senseless tragedy.

stalls with no doors should be designated a hate crime.

I kind of wish you lied and said you were number 2

Little League. 12 years old, I lace what I am SURE is a line drive foul ball down the third base line. I shake my head, don’t even really leave the area around home plate, walk around, gather myself and go to step into the batter’s box for the next pitch.

Not a singular moment, but rather years of playing football (and to a lesser extent baseball) with extremely noticeable, terminal swampass. Just a giant circle of wetness from my crack to my taint whenever I broke a sweat, accentuated by our bright red football pants. I became so well known for it my nickname was…

Well, at least you made it to the bathroom. I’ll grant you that mine happened during practice, but it was in the middle of conditioning drills during two-a-days. I was also a senior, you know, setting the example for the younger guys.

I was an extremely bad baseball player. They used to start me and bat me 9th on the off-chance that two innings would take place before my spot in the batting order came up, and I could be pulled having played my league-mandated two innings.

“the recording was made last Friday, when she and her son were at a trampoline park.”

Settle down, Christy. Boogie’s not shooting anything for at least a year.

Penn has had 11 loses in the last decade, with 5 coming from T/KO. I dunno...maybe that’s bad for a brains ability to do things like regulate emotion or do a risk/rewards analysis...Or maybe he ate too many GMO’s.

DeMarcus then broke his wrist hanging up the phone, and 9 months from now, his whole arm will fall off.