I thought that went without saying! Also when I say “buy” I mean instruct my butler to have them purchased.

Look at the pit position! Those halves aren’t even from the same avocado! What is this madness?!

Look, Andrew, there are always going to be the halves and the halve nots. There’s no use complaining about it.

That’s the mentality we want around here at wholesalepackaging.com! You’re hired!

Aw man, remember the last time you happened upon a group of cows out in nature and just got yourself down there under an udder for some refreshment? Good times. Good times.

But overlooking opponents isn’t the PATRIOT WAY!

Not possible, under refrigeration avocados last a very long time. Cutting into to something is not going to make it last longer.

And how to tell if it is ripe, fer crissakes.

I’m surprised the store is willing to sell those. Not only is it a wasteful solution to a problem that didn’t exist, but it will take up a great deal more room on the shelves, and as I recall there has been a push among stores to pressure manufacturers to reduce product footprints as much as possible.

I for one applaud Gizmodo pointing out situations in which companies indulge in wasteful packaging. Consumerism truly is a threat to sustainability.

So can we all let go of that whole “Omar Mateen was a self-hating gay man narrative”?

She probably had the same views on gay people as he did.

Good. Let the charges - and her competency to stand trial - get sorted out.

Perhaps a learning disability in middle school doesn’t mitigate your involvement or responsibility in helping your husband murder 49 people.

It would be hilarious is Harrison exploded and all that was left is the PED’s that rejuvenated his fake career.

They *say* they don’t want their backfield penetrated, but they’re sending mixed signals. Blurred sidelines, if you will.

Also acceptable: Minnesota Gopher group text.

We’re going to touch down at 4:00 in the fucking morning. So be it. We’ll be ready for their ass. But you ain’t got to tell them we’re coming.

“You think that’s bad—you should see my videos of the things they say at practice”