This is purely anecdotal of course, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody drink a Michelob Ultra. Just Miller/Bud/Coors-Light around these parts.

Not to sound too optimistic, but Troegs seems to have find its groove doing lots of events and local collabs alongside their brewing, so I'm not too worried about them selling out. 

So tl;dr - Luna is a poorly-trained dog.

This is far and away the best and most obvious solution. If the LW is the manager, they can politely ask them to order food or scram. If the LW is a server, check with the manager. If it’s a regular problem, the manager should care about the lost profits.

85/15??? Are you high on crystals?

Drinking the leftover jus?

This is a sandwich, but not a hot dog.

Those brewing-politics metaphors reeked of centrism and nearly made my eyes roll out of my head.

Unless they’re borrowing life experiences from each other (and/or not outright lying), I believe others have said Kate is the only with experience waiting on tables. Add in the gender and no kids, and it’s probably her.

Per the announcer, “you can kind of use the netting like you’re Spider-Man.”

Nothing wrong with Old Granddad.

Just like the Inhumans being vulnerable to Earth’s polluted atmosphere!

Well this is certainly... a blog post.

Does this have anything to do with “hot girl summer?”

From personal experience wearing tights and underarmor for running, it keeps the muscles warmer and doesn’t chafe.

And they are gonna CRUSH those church nerds.

I know it's the last thing you said, but you had me at "Anti-Life Equation."

You guys missed this one in your "related articles" section: https://deadspin.com/heres-what-every-member-of-the-usmnt-has-to-say-about-u-1835659843

A-HA!

Yeah I’m really confused as to what qualifies him for that descriptor. He’s apparently a professional DJ, and also has no friends. Proposed alternative title: "Lonely DJ Makes Musical Mash-ups."