It could have been interesting if they made something that LOOKED like this, but actually tasted good.

Only if you're getting it shipped from a location that's closer than your local FedEx warehouse.

Next time I go to Pinchot Park, I'll sneak some booze in to spite his ghost.

So do you think that everybody just jogs races? Whether it’s the 5k’s I run now, or the 400m’s I ran in college, I’m racing at 100% effort for the distance. I’m not saying after every race I’m on my back gasping for air, but I leave it all on the course.

I’m skeptical, but never having run a marathon, I’ll take your word for it. I still don’t like to be interrupted mid-race, whether I’m flying high or dragging.

This guy clearly has no idea what running a race feels like. At the end of 5k I can barely function, let alone respond to life-altering questions, and during the race I won’t even muster a wave to people cheering me on. So let’s ramp that up to 11 for a marathon.

Uh, I’m gonna go with, “Oof.”

Who wants to rat out the AV Club?:

I have the first issue on both Jezebel and the Takeout, and the latter issue on the Takeout. Dunno how to fix it, but it's not just you.

Right, this is “How to make a whiskey sour for somebody who ordered a whiskey sour but does not want what everybody expects a whiskey sour to be.”

The sodium in Gatorade is a big factor in it being a “sports drink” (in the American parlance) and not just being flavored sugar water. It rehydrates you better if you’ve been exercising/sweating.

I love reading this same exact goddamn article on some Kinja site once a year.

This has made me that aging is basically replacing one set of problems for another. Or just adding another set of problems on top of the ones you never resolved.

This intrigues me. Will it help me break out of my salsa rut?

Or get really worked up about something. Stressed/angry at work heats me up every time.

Can’t, or won’t?

For one fleeting moment, I hated nothing more on the entire planet than those ugly fucking glasses.

I’ll never understand how it’s so hard for people to say “omg you’re right, how could I forget these wonderful actresses!” or shit, even lie and pin it on some nobody: “somebody on the set mentioned it and I didn’t bother to fact check, so sorry!”

In my experience, bartenders at breweries tend to be much more helpful than bartenders at general bars/taphouses (unless they’re new).

My dad watches this; my mom calling it Slow Boat to Nowhere was the sickest burn.