Just so you know, you're doing god's work.

I think the indication was to drink your first cup a half-hour after you start your workday. Why they framed it as “9:30" is odd because obviously tons of people don’t work precisely 9-5.

I love the word “carafe.”

They had to disguise the pot shot at babe.net by making the article extra long.

I would like to return to a time when I only vaguely knew who Pete Davidson was, and nothing about what he thought about various things.

They’re such whiny little babies. “Wahhh, people are mad at me because I basically murdered a dude, wahhhh!”

While I don’t want to ignore any new and profound scientific info that may arise, these motherfuckers can’t make up their minds about eggs. Call me when it’s not about something most people have already figured out, like if all of a sudden broccoli is gonna give me super-cancer.

Fug, that bottle is pretty.

Ugh, I just clicked away from that meatloaf article and now I’m mad all over again!

Oh is this where we’re dropping all our hot takes? Okay, here goes: This is a dumb fucking article.

My parents went to Ireland recently and brought me back a mini-bottle of Writer’s Tears. Hard to get a good sense of a drink from a shot’s worth, but it good. My go-to whiskey is Tullamore Dew, so I’m interested to see if I like Allison’s slightly cheaper pick more.

I had only planned to pick up vodka on my next liquor store run (probably tomorrow), but if you’re gonna twist my arm, I guess I’ll pick up the West Cork too.

I love Buffalo Trace.

So... it’s an easter egg so it’s not canonical? Or it’s canonical but we shouldn’t care? Of all the stupid shit that gets reposted here, this video is pretty damn innocuous.

Maybe what they make artificial sausage casings out of?

If it were anybody else, this could come across as intentionally humorous, poking fun at one’s own follies.

Now I’m even more intrigued. Do you just mash up black beans with spices, and mold it into a patty? Is pan-frying involved?

Exactly! It’s whatever is understood to be synonymous with a sandwich. A “sandwich” shop that sold only hotdogs would be misleading.

Not to beat a dead horse, but fuck you and fuck your dog.

When you’re aware of multiple “gods” from multiple unrelated pantheons, doesn’t the idea of a god kind of lose all meaning? They’re basically just super powerful extra-dimensional aliens.