He’s like my grandpa, if my grandpa weren’t a horrible racist.

Diet Dr. Pepper tastes better than normal Dr. Pepper.

Picturing a gang of 350-lb O-line men repeatedly throwing a limp body with a football duct taped to it up against a wall of defenders has sent me into a now 3 minute long bout of chuckles.

I’m an above average 6'2 180 pound 29 year old male. If I was put in as a running back on 1st and goal from the 1 and given the ball (up to) four straight times

They can think what they want. Coupes have two doors.

Coupes have two doors, thank you 

*JALOPNIK FACT ALARM COVERING GIZMODO MEDIA WEBSITES KLAXON SCREECHES TO LIFE*

The point of the number isn’t to reward the victim, but to punish the offender. No, the guy doesn’t really deserve much more than what he paid for the car, plus any money he put into having it diagnosed, plus his lawyer fees, plus some amount for his time/hassle. That number however, is likely to be small enough that…

I used to do drugs. I still do, I just used to too

[Dealer]: Shit. How much is this gonna cost me?

Maybe, but I think maybe gender should just be left off the birth certificate completely. At birth you can determine sex (though include intersex as an option). You can make highly accurate predictions about the person’s gender, but you can’t observe it directly. That was my thinking, at any rate.

This is fine. However, I don’t understand why the parents would choose to put X on the birth certificate. Nobody knows if the person is going to be trans-gender or gender-fluid when he or she grows up. Most of us identify with the gender we’re born with.  Why would the parents make the choice at birth?

I enjoyed this trailer, when does the movie come out?

Which transmission does it have? The manual Elantra is really not that bad.

Maybe the young’uns frankly don’t realize that they should still tip on a counter-service order.

If you are even a casual car enthusiast and 1,000 HP @ 10,500 RPM in an emissions legal road car doesn’t immediately blow your mind, you are not a casual car enthusiast.

Have you tried not being poor? It’s easy. Just stop being poor.

I get a full set of turbos for the price of two oil changes? DEAL.

There are many things to love about Drew, but the thing I love the most about him is how effusively he lives his life

This is my finest ever contribution to Jalopnik.