I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

I’ve been a Sox fan since emerging from the womb and I’ve told myself multiple times that I would never give up on this team. Hearing Adam Eaton, our fucking MLBPA rep, call an illiterate 14 year old a clubhouse leader made me want to drink toilet bowl cleaner. Fuck Adam Eaton, fuck Adam LaRoche, and fuck Drake…

Shots fired.

The hyphenated last name really takes this to another level. +1

The 2014-2015 Feeling Yourself Award previously belonged to 16 year old sophomore Aiden Miller-Stoughton, who swears he was just cleaning his room.

So how does Deadspin “get off the couch” collectively? Do you call each other beforehand or can you guys just do it telepathically like a hive mind?

This is good kinja.

He named her Iman Jr because she tore up the pussy just like daddy.

Dwight Howard is the NBA equivalent to a frozen hamburger

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

This is beyond horrifying.

Thanks, guy who’s still excited about his College Gameday sign from 2010.

What kind of parents would let their teen daughter anywhere near Tyler Seguin?

Wow! A hockey player made a teen girl cry and it wasn’t rape-related. Incredible.

you sound like someone who has been yelled at for being in blackface and tried to drunkenly defend it

This might be the greatest comment on any post EVER

Holy shit, I'm dying here. Imagining her talking to Jay makes this even funnier somehow.

I didn't know Peter Griffin had a sex change

things like this make me want to move to sweden